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Where there is a Will, there is a way.

A year without the One, who Changed my life for years to Come

3/20/2017

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Hey Roddy, I still can't even fathom that it has been a year since you passed. I am writing this because I want to catch you up on how much you missed. Here are some little tidbits.

1.  Don't roll over when I tell you this, I am not a theatre major anymore. I think I have decided I want to teach, just like you did. I might even pursue a law degree. That is all to be determined soon enough. 

2. I am almost finished with my freshman year of college. That is crazy isn't it? You cross my mind every day too. I walk into gas stations, I see the zero calorie ICE drinks, and I think of you. I listen to Vance Joy, and I hear the lyrics. Every time he says "the closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer that you've ever seen," I think of you. I think of your love for Michelle.  

3. I have matured, boy have I matured. When I start letting my emotions get the best of me, I remember all of the things I learned from you. I start reading the five agreements. I remember how you said that it is important to make time for yourself. 

4. So, about that time for myself --  I have started to find an interest in photography, and I hike sometimes too. I love being outside. Oh, I finally got my record player back. I listen to Billy Joel, Elton John, and a whole lot of Ed Sheeran. I wish you could hear his new album. It makes my heart warm. I work out every day now. I have lost 30 pounds, your journey still inspires me today.

5. Our boy Chance the Rapper won his grammy, finally. I have been waiting on that day from the time I heard his first mixtape my freshman year of high school. He even donated 1 million dollars to Chicago schools. He's doing more for education than that girl Betsy they are talking about. I will get to her in a minute. 

6. West Florida is going "ok." I really am making the best of it. I joined a fraternity, and I am the voice of the softball team. I've made a few friends, and lots of acquaintances. Oh, and I know you want me to give you some tea on my girl situation. To be honest, I am not ready. I can barely do my own laundry. What I will tell you, is that it will happen when it happens. When she likes Ed Sheeran or "Dear Evan Hansen" as much as I do, that will be the day. School is treating me well, my 3.2 grade point average gets it done. I am still working on it though. 

7. I was going to close by talking about the last election, and US DOE Secretary Betsy Devos, but you're in too good of a place to be stressing. I really miss you man. I wish you could be here to see all of the great things that I am doing. However, I know you're looking at my life from the best seat in the house. 

8. I teared up a little bit when I wrote this. However, I just can't help but smile every time I think of you. It was you that pushed me to be who I am today. It was you, that urged me to pursue my dreams. It is because of you that I will continue to write, it is because of you that I will continue to share stories. One day, when I am in a room teaching students myself, I will tell lots of stories. The most important one? That's the one about that one teacher Rod Durham. 

So. Much. Love.
- Your friend Will
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Thank you for inspiring me to be me, Rod.

11/22/2016

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High School is hard -- even for the most well-adjusted, popular, academically gifted, athletically skilled, or artistically talented kids.  That’s why movies and books are replete with ‘coming of age’ stories.  With the societal issues of 2016 being what they are, my friends and I think it’s more challenging in our era than any other time in history. 

Maybe it’s all just relative and every generation has its challenges.  Still, it’s difficult to explain all the complexities that accompany the average day in the halls of today’s high school -- the academic pressure to succeed in a highly competitive world, the social tensions around relationships that seem (at our age) to be the ‘end-all’ of life, and just the basic elements of the maturation process with all its ups and downs.

  To be sure, some handle these tensions better than others.  Some self-medicate or don’t care at all.  Some barely make it while others over achieve in every area. For me, well, I’m one of the complicated ones -- always worried about everything -- all of it! That’s why I’m so grateful for the teachers and administrators that pour some parts of themselves into the lives of their students every day. 

Some teachers just stick to the lesson plan, trying their best to prepare us with academic rigor for success in the global economy - and that’s important and I’m grateful for them.  But others are simultaneously teaching about the equally important parts of life and how to survive it.  That’s what this story is about; it’s about that teacher -- Rod Durham.
 
In my junior year of high school, I did not want to get out of bed. I felt like I had very few real friends (though I now know there may have been more than I thought). I gave off a persona as if I didn’t care, but Durham read right through me, and Durham did care. He made me feel valued.

He was the reason that I kept getting out of bed. When I didn’t want to get up at 6 a.m. every day, he was the one who inspired me and pushed me to get through it. More than that, Durham inspired me to be my true self. This is a slogan he lives by. “Always work hard, and be your true self.”
 
So, I took his advice. I began to dig deep and I tried to find the real me. After playing both baseball and football for almost all of my childhood, I never thought that I would end up on a stage in front of 800 people in the high school auditorium. I was supposed to be Buster Posey or Jameis Winston. I was supposed to be a star on the field, not on the stage.
 
That was all before I walked into room 222, Mr. Durham’s 11th grade English class. All over the school, Mr. Durham was popular and seen as “bigger than life” with a huge smile, infectious laugh and a real talk non-nonsense approach.  From the moment I looked into the man’s twinkling eyes, I knew we had a connection. It was almost kind of weird. In him I saw little parts of me, and in me he saw little parts of himself.

To be sure, Durham made every kid feel special.  He knew everyone by his or her name, and if you let him listen, he wanted to know more. Fortunately I was one of the lucky ones because he eventually became my mentor and best friend.  There was a small group of us he called his “crew”  -- and while he taught us a lot about English and Creative Writing and Theatre, he taught us more about living.

The view from room 222 was focused through the lenses of Rod Durham’s sage advice; he helped us see things a little more clearly, he challenged us to “do the right thing” and to pursue our own unique gifts and passions.  And, if you came in there with any negative energy oozing out -- he’d literally get our a can of Lysol and start spraying it, saying “get that stink outta here!”  Meaning, ‘come on, get ahold of yourself, look at the bright side’.
 
I don’t think this man ever had anything bad to say about anyone, at least not with the intention of hurting them. He had a way with his words and using them to uplift his students. He had a nickname for every student, all of whom were his favorites. He had a knack for getting kids out of their shell, allowing them to be themselves. He wanted his students to act as who they are, not the way the rest of the high school perceived them. He should have been a counselor and he could have been a lot of things, but he chose to teach.
 
I’m sure a lot of teachers wish they could run their classroom any which way they wanted. Well, they aren’t supposed to do that, and Durham did it anyway. Durham bent the rules because he wanted his students to learn about life, not just how to succeed academically.  Learning course content is one thing - but learning about life - that is another.

That is what made Mr. Durham so great. He was there for the 14-18 year-old kids, who at that time in life, really needed someone. To relate to them, he would even blare Beyonce or Selena Gomez out loud, in class. Well that is what made a man like Durham so special. That is why I kept him so close to my heart. Teenagers don’t always relate well to their parents; many times this man filled the void. He just simply related to me. We just got each other on a whole different level. He helped me understand I just needed to be “me” regardless.
 
Durham gave me that opportunity to be myself. I could walk into room 222 with no shame, no guilt (even when I messed up, which I did - often) and I knew I’d feel better about life just by being around him. That is the toughest part about losing this jovial man with a grin bigger than Tallahassee and a personality larger than life.
 
I'm now in college, and and he is still a part of my life.   He is the inner voice telling me to “go for it” and the gentle guiding voice, saying “yea, son, you messed up, but it’s ok, do it right the next time.” There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him.

When I moved away to Pensacola for school, I didn't think that I would make it. I felt like I was done for. Well, Rod has a bigger presence in my life now than he had when he was here on this earth. I am writing this because I am so thankful for him. He got me through high school, and my first semester of college. I conclude my last class before thanksgiving tomorrow with this speech. The one about how this man changed my life.
 

 
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Don't Fall in the Fall

10/9/2016

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It is my favorite time of year. Leaves are falling off of trees, and the weather drops a few degrees. Oh, and football is back. I have no complaints about autumn. I start scroll through Instagram; I see plaid shirts, and pumpkin patch pictures. 

I see tailgates, hay rides, and Browning jackets. No season understands me better than the fall. Why? Because no one wants to sweat bullets walking across campus at 8:00 in the morning. No one wants to see the sweat stains on your blue t-shirt. 

People want to wear jeans again, they want to roll down the window and blare Jake Owen's "Barefoot Blue Jean Night." People want to sit by a fire and listen to "Everything Has Changed," by Ed Sheeran, and Taylor Swift. Well, I high key want to do these things.

Fall is great. Halloween is right around the corner. Thanksgiving is just one month away. Everything is going well, right? How could it not be? Well for me, this is the best, and worst time of the year.

It is the time when midterms and finals hit me like a brick. It is the time when seasonal depression is at its finest. It is sappy like a Hallmark Christmas movie, and it is heartbreaking like Nicholas Spark's "The Best of Me."

Don't worry, fall. You are still my favorite. However, this is the time of year when you have to be careful. You have to take care of yourself, exercise, and use that Neti Pot. You have to get up every morning and get to class, even when you'd rather just sit in bed and watch "Friends" all day. 

You have to stay focused, even when you want to stay up at night watching the "13 Nights of Halloween" movie marathon.  What I'm trying to say is, don't fall in the fall. Don't give up when it gets cold. Don't be afraid to reach out to your friends when you're in your room crying about that final you prepared all week for. Don't let the hype of the holiday christmas season, and your "single" relationship status get in the way of your success. 

Fall is probably the most beautiful time of the year. Sometimes though, we get so caught up in the excitement. If you are like me, your expectations in the fall are high. Everything has to be perfect. You have to have that pumpkin patch picture. You have to have that eno pic of you just kicking it. Well yes, all of that is true. 

However, just remember to stop, and soak in the moment. Enjoy the the football, relish the time you get to spend with your loved ones over Thanksgiving. Hug your grandma, and tell her you love her at the Christmas dinner. Remember, you are in college and you are growing up. Well, your grandparents are getting older too, and you don't know how much time you will have with them. 

Most importantly, have the time of your life. It is the best time of the year. Just know that while you are having fun, protect yourself. Don't let the change in seasons keep you from accomplishing your goals. 

So, take a shot off that espresso, turn on some music and get back to work. Have the best fell yet. Cheers to you, you can do it. 
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Racism exists, but it is our duty to change that.

9/20/2016

1 Comment

 
When scrolling through my Facebook news feed, I saw one main topic of discussion: Racism. Everyone seems to want to talk about it, so let's just dive right in.
I first want to point out one main thing, racism is taught, and it is learned. People are not born this way.

Let's use the  Black Lives Matter campaign for example. I will never understand what it is like to be a person of color in this country. Therefore, I can not spit out my opinion about it. I COMPLETELY understand where minorities are coming from. The country that we live in today is diverse, and we should all learn to embrace it.

I urge all people of this nation to take a step back, hear someone's point of view other than your own. I'm not saying you have to agree, I am saying everyone has the right to have their own opinion. Instead of using social media as a platform to banter back and forth about the issue, we should try to take ourselves out of our shoes. We should try to make a difference.

I want to start by sharing my opinion on the issue, and I hope you will understand where I am coming from. I was raised in Tallahassee, Florida. My parents raised me to believe that everyone bleeds red. I grew up in a middle class part of town, it is all I ever knew.

​One day, in kindergarten, I met this kid Malik. Malik was black, and it didn't matter. It didn't matter because I saw him as Malik, I didn't care about his race. All I cared about was that he loved football as much as I did. The fact that he had just moved from Riley Elementary school, a predominantly black school on the other side of town didn't matter.

Malik walked in, pants hanging low, and sporting a Nick Collins Greenbay Packers jersey. I loved him for that, and I loved Brett Favre. From that moment on, we became friends. We grew older, and we got to 4th grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was standing there as he was trying to teach me the "Superman," a new dance that goes to the song "Crank That" by rap artist "Soulja Boy."

I didn't even understand what I was doing, but Malik was doing it, so I wanted to do it too.  I got to know him pretty well. I have lost touch with him, but had it not been for the way I was raised, I may have never met him in the first place. Again, racism is taught.

I want to teach you, I want you to understand that we all bleed the same color. We all bleed red. Don't be so quick to judge someone because of their color, the side of town they live on, or their economic status. I don't know what Malik was going through. I don't even know where he lived. We came from two different backgrounds. I will never understand the life he lives. I do understand that he was my friend, and we loved to toss the pigskin.

Malik made a difference in my life at such a young, and impressionable age. He made me see that people are people. As I grew older, I met more people. People like my friend, who will probably read this -- Jeramie Lee Payne. I consider this man a brother. He was black, and he hailed from Lawton, Oklahoma. At my young age of 13, he moved into the guest room above my garage.

He made a vast impact on my life. He drove a good old Pontiac Monte Carlo. We frequently blared Nas, Wale, and every mixtape that J. Cole released. He tied my bowties, introduced me to cardigans, and he even took me to Jacob's Chapel, a black church where I heard the greatest sermon of my life.

I really understood at that moment, racism wasn't going anywhere. I know today that the only way things will change, is if we decide to make a difference. I was the only white person in that church, but I didn't care. I remember two special quotes from that sermon, and it was from Martin Luther King Jr.

"The most segregated place is Church on Sunday Mornings."
"I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

​I knew after that day that I would make it my mission to make a difference, and I hope that after reading this you will too.


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    Will Rasmussen is a Freshman Journalism Major at the University of West Florida. He created this blog to express his thoughts on various subjects throughout his college career. 

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